So, I'm supposed to be finishing up working on this VERY important document, which I can't seem to do. I was going to sleep some and then come back to it, but the damn insomnia kicked in and it was all NOPE. Jerk. I digress. I'll finish it. I have to; I don't have a choice. But humor me a few moments and let me exorcise my wandering thoughts via this post.

Have you ever noticed how some accents are just impossible for you to do? Not like you as in all people, but you specifically. For example, I can do a killer Irish, English, and Cockney, but the Scottish brogue completely evades me. I can mimic a Russian accent, Farsi, Southern American English (both country and Old South Genteel, thank you very much), and Mid-western, but I struggle with both Boston and New York accents— and I LIVED in NYC for years! I can't even do a good Brooklyn! Is something wrong with me? Maybe I'm just putting too much thought into this...

I want to make a gorgeous photo album from my wedding, but most of the pictures were taken on my sister-in-law's camera, and she keeps forgetting to send them to me. I haven't even seen them all yet. Plus, we got married via a very informal ceremony at the courthouse, because we needed to get the papers filed so I could complete my work transfer (long story for another day, just work with me here). So, we have talked about having another ceremony next year and doing the really nice, big event type wedding then. Or we might just throw a big party. We haven't decided yet. So, I'm thinking, should I spend the year from now until then gently cajoling my sister-in-law (who is amaze balls, by the way) until she eventually remembers to give me the pictures, and then make a super duper photo album with the combined photos from the courthouse and the maybe-party/maybe-second-wedding? Also, instead of wedding cake, we had these wedding cake themed chocolate candies at the courthouse. I kept the box. I was thinking of breaking it down and incorporating it into the album (it's not very big), but then I started wondering if maybe I should do something else with it instead? Maybe create some sort of nifty little shadow-box style frame for it and hang it on the wall as our own little inside joke wedding portrait? As you can see, I've got some tough choices to make here. All suggestions welcome.

Unless the suggestion is to burn the box. Not that it would be. We're all friendly, non-troll-meanie folks here. I'm just saying, in my stream-of-consciousness-mind-exorcism writings, that would not be a welcome suggestion, and might, in fact, cause me mild offense.

Speaking of mild, I had some mild salsa the other day that was seriously someone's incredibly sadistic joke from the mild salsa bottling factory. Even my wife, who could drink Tapatío sauce if it wouldn't give her heartburn, was saying that it was actually pretty warm. I considered writing a letter. But then I took it to work and watched my coworkers react to it at lunch, and I decided that I'd gotten my money's worth after all. Don't worry; no coworkers were injured in the process of enacting this prank. A mild prank, if you will.

I totally just cracked myself up.

I was looking through #LifeHacks and #HomeHacks on Tumblr yesterday. There's some pretty amazing stuff in there... and some pretty damn stupid stuff. One was this guy who put all of his dishes inside of ziplock bags before eating off of them to save himself the trouble of cleaning them later. Seriously?! How lazy are we now? There were also some really effing awesome ones, too, like using two sticky hooks sideways on the pantry or kitchen wall to hang aluminum foil or Saran Wrap where it's really accessible. That was pretty nifty.

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I think it's ironic that everyone told me I'd hate LA traffic, but I don't mind it. You just have to plan for it to take longer to get where you're going than I did before. What does bother me? The parking! Holy shitballs, there's never any parking, and then, finally, when you can find a spot, there's some deranged attendant chasing you down, saying, "No, sorry, Miss, parking here is for this establishment only." And when you point out that there's no sign to that effect, they shrug and say that it's just what they're told, and you can either "tip" them (a small gratuity bribe) and they'll say it's okay just this once, or you can move your car, only to have some little dipshit stand in the middle of the parallel parking space you just waited on for 5 minutes and yell that she's saving it for someone who's on their way. And then you can pull into the space anyway, and gloat for a moment as you relive the memory of how Dipshitina jumped out of your way and yelped like a kicked puppy when you refused to cede to her Street Parking Queen demands, but you'd better hope she's not too mad, or you'll be coming back to some new artwork and maybe a flat tire or two courtesy of her self-entitled rage.

So anyway, I do a lot of carpooling. It's nice. I get to enjoy the scenery.

What do you guys recommend to help keep a garbage disposal clean? The one that came with our temporary place is a piece of crap, and it jams easily. It's only for a few months, so no real big deal, but I'd still like to try to keep it working throughout, if only to regain our deposit once we leave. Suggestions?

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You know what would be awesome? I wish I could do backflips. That just seems like it would be the best way to get out of an awkward or unpleasant conversation. "So, you guys are, like, lesbians? Okay, but which one of you is the man? I can't tell because you both look like girls, and I thought one of you has to wear men's clothing to-" **backflips away**

See that? Best awkward/unpleasant conversation ender ever.

I am totally not watching the last season of True Blood. So mad over those character death choices (no spoilers). Side note- at my old office, there was this one lady who looked exactly like Kristin Bauer van Straten if she were about 30 lbs. heavier. Same eyes, same mouth (only hers was, ahem, natural), same hair, same attitude, everything. It was crazy. And she had no idea who that was until we showed her a picture, and then she just shrugged and said they might be kin because she's got a pretty big family. And then she just casually strolled off. She was a badass.

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So I guess I should get back to work on my VERY important paper. Stupid paper. Why won't it just do itself?!

How do you guys deal with procrastination? And what are some neat and crafty ideas for how to add warmth and fun to a new home? We'll be moving soon, and mama needs a new craft hobby. Bring it.

Oh, man. Now I'm tired! Shit. I used up all my awake on here. I really need to be better about planning ahea